Lesson #1 Despite popular misconception, forks are actually totally unnecessary when eating spaghetti.
Lesson #2 Really the best way to eat spaghetti is with ones fingers -- or whole hand as the case may be.
Lesson #3 Quickly. Good food is best eaten very quickly.
Lesson #4 When eating with your hands be sure to lick your fingers, otherwise, you'll just be messy.
Lesson #5 On occasions when forks are necessary, you can actually stick either end in your mouth. You needn't just confine yourself to using the pointy end for eating.
Lesson #6 Again, despite popular misconception, Hands are actually not at all necessary for drinking. You just need a little bit of balance and jaw control.
Like so:
Lesson #7 Unlike spaghetti, for pizza, one should absolutely use a fork. It's totally uncivilized not to.
Thanks for the shirt grandma--he managed to keep it surprisingly clean despite his shenanigans!
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